15 posts tagged “gossip girl”

So Gossip Girl took a trip down Lily's memory lane to when she was hellbent for teenage socialite mayhem just like her dear Serena. And in the same episode, the present-day kiddos went to prom. What a mess. Ugh.

The flashback, the present day, all of it was effed-up boring and useless. Kind of like Vanessa. And not even Vanessa with Chuck. Or Nate. Vanessa pining for Humphrey. Richard Lawson at Gawker summed up the dialogue of the flashback so well: "'Is this the part where you fall in love with me?' a@$#Q%Q$%$Q$#~!!! I wanted to throw something through the TV, but I would never actually hurt my lover."

[Now I wish that the parallel universes of Richard's recaps would cross paths. Picture it: Lily and NYC Housewife LuAnn, aka Countess Crackerjacks (read Richard's recaps now!), sharing a cigarette after dinner with Serena and her new role model, Kelly Bensimon. Over drinks, since Victoria has convinced Noel to run away with her to work in the Goodwill, Lunz convinces Lilz to hit the road because Jane's Addiction is touring this year. (Remember when Navarro tried talking us into a threesome and then passed out in the parking lot of that Circle K in Omaha!?!) With Rufus being Rufusy as a Rufus can be, moping because Lily is so very Lily, and the Count taking his little girlfriend to see Lady Gaga next week, why the hell not?]

My biggest problem with 80s shows is that they are usually anachronistic. Pop culturally, they are jumbled, often blending the late 80s into the mid 80s, the early 80s into the mid 80s--basically everything took place in a big ol' pop culture stew in 1985. This flashback was set "sometime in the 80s" which is just damn lazy, right? That's a decade, ten whole years to choose from, Schwartz. And big hair in 1982 was totally different from big hair in 1987, Ms. Savage. Pick a year, make a commitment! Think of the future of the show, past the pilot, past season one! Make continuity a priority! Don't be Rob Thomas! Anyway, I've never understood why things set in the 80s were always such a hot mess. It wasn't that long ago and the decade was captured by the media more than any prior generation. Get on the Internet and find out when that song was released, and for cheestastic pop songs especially, when it was on Billboard. Check out some actual yearbook photos from the chosen year, not the fashion mags, and see what people looked like. Do the damn research and make it right. Ugh.

Back to this Gossip Girl Flashback Fiasco. I missed Andrew McCarthy's thirty-two seconds, so that was strike one for me. Brittany Snow somehow lost the ability to act, making her performance in John Tucker Must Die (damn you, cable) seem shiny-gold-award worthy. So if this show were to pass The CW's stringent pilot policies (Two words: Hidden Palms). . . wait wait wait, that's Kristen Ritter and she's quirky and sometimes annoying but was endearingly goofy on the always-awkward-interview-segment of Chelsea Lately the other night, and most importantly played Gia Goodman on Veronica Mars. So being Lily's big sis/BFF/Blair will maybe work but, oh, holy crap, Schwartz! Is that Ryan Hansen with Val-Kilmer-Real-Genius hair doing the robot and all the charming doofus things that made VM fangirls totally forget Dick Casablancas was a date-rape-advocating-douchenozzle? (Sound like a certain character with a penchant for scotch and ascots, Schwartz? Oh, right, we're supposed to forget that Chuck Bass went from handsy and forceful in the pilot to smarmy but charming by the end of the season.) As conflicted as I was with what they did with Dick on VM (redemption often involves that head-scratching continuity again!), I did like Ryan Hansen. But, hey, hold the payphone, is that No Doubt? Ugh.

Back in the presnt day, behold it is spring! And the kids need a glamorous event-of-the-week. Let's forgo the fundraiser ball or the opera, such obvious choices for teenagers to don designer frocks, right? Let's throw a Prom with a capital P! Alas, Prom was dull. Serena and Dan delightfully did the dance of the dorky while Chuck secretly chucked it up to crown Blair prom queen, thus fulfilling her prom fairy tale even though he wasn't her king. Because Chuck looooves her. Blair realized she outgrew her scrapbooked fairy tale, though, and must dump King Nate, but not before they shared one last dance. Gag me with a spork. Double ugh.

• Gossip Girl was delicious this week.  But the promos, featuring Kaitlin "Oh crap!" Cooper just made me too giddy. And I thought I was excited to see Melinda Clarke on Chuck last week. I always thought that Willa Holland and Autumn Reeser (on Pushing Daisies the same week as Missy Pyle) revitalized The O.C. Although, for me, it also may have had something to do with killing off Marissa too.
  

• So Nicole Richie was heinous on Chuck. She wasn't completely unwatchable in the beginning, but got worse as the show progressed, although the catfight was badass. I found it cute in the beginning that the radio DJ was talking about a Heather Chandler, got a hearty chuckle from that, until I realized they named Richie's mean-girl character after her. Hell, why not call her Regina George instead? Not charming. Such tributes need to be subtle and better crafted. That was worse then Agents Angus and Young on Supernatural last week (one of these days I want someone to call the Winchesters out on that, or at least blink twice at it, they aren't the only ones who listen to classic hard rock). When writing such "tributes," I consider it a gift to those who pick up on it, who know the genre well enough to get the joke, not to be hammered over the head with it.

• I still have the same issues with Pushing Daisies but an Emerson Cod episode featuring Debra Mooney as his mother? Golly gee, just for me? I still miss Everwood (although not enough to ever watch Brothers and Sisters, unless they had maybe cast Gregory Smith or Chris Pratt as the new Walker). Emerson and Olive always have the best lines, and Chi McBride sells every "Hell no!" no matter how many times he says it. My favorite Emerson-ism this week, and possible new mantra: "I've chucked my chagrin overboard." That show always plays so well with language in the diaolgue, I am often awe by the beauty of how a phrase is turned, repeating lines with dorky glee. I hope it gets at least a partial script order if not the back nine.
  

I haven't caught up with Fringe yet. Or a few others I'm saving for a lazy Sunday. On Saturday, I am helping S make a Halloween costume for Foo, and that's not as wackadoo as it sounds. Prize: free doggy daycare. And that is still not wackadoo because (a) Foo is a happier, more chill puppy when she has a day or two of daycare training a week and (b) the prize is basically freaking cash-money (otherwise Foo could just go as her badass-self). In this economy, dressing up a dog for an hour or so in a rad costume that creatively uses materials already on hand, totally worth it. Plus, her costume is going to rock socks.

I'm in the mood to chat TV. I still don't feel as if I have immersed myself enough in all things television in order to really discuss as I usually do. But I feel the need to blog, and I don't feel the need to blog about anything else right now. So here it goes, The Good, The Bad(Ass), The Ugly on my idiot box:

The Good

Holly on The Office. Amy Ryan is awesome, that's not news. But she's perfection as the yin to Michael's yang (that's what she said). I love Ryan the Temp Receptionist. I'm tired of the Dwight-Angela-Andy storyline. And I thought The Proposal was lovely and that the out-of-the-blue reality of it taking place in a gas station parking lot on a lunch break made it more romantic then any schmaltzy scene could have accomplished. It just worked. Score one for the writers.

I still like Greek. I can't help it. It's escapist TV with likeable characters and good writing. Maybe not so much in terms of story because how deep can you explore the Greek life on a college campus? But the pacing and the wit, the dialogue and one-liners (Clark Duke delivers some real gems) combine to make an enjoyable show.

Okay, I was really reluctant to watch True Blood, especially after suffering through Moonlight, regardless of HBO and Alan Ball. It took about three episodes for me to really care about it, but it has grown on me. Yes, seeing Alexander Skarsgard on my television again, even rarely with that heinous wig and "Kermit the Frog" voice (TM Jacob on TWoP), dose provide incentive to keep tuning in. I don't love all of the B-characters, Tara has grown on me, Lafayette rocks, hate Jason, and I waffle about Sam, but I realized once they killed Gran, and my jaw hit the floor at the end of that mediocre episode, I was hooked on this campy wants-to-be-offbeat-but-not-quite show. Who knows if I'll stick around for season two, but right now, I at least want to find out the identity of the serial killer.

I have been reluctant to get into another JJ Abrams show. Mostly because they all start to feel the same (the score really doesn't help that), although not like David Kelley writing the same storylines into every single show he pens (you cannot have the same weekly tale on Picket Fences and Ally McBeal and The Practice and think people will not notice). I like Fringe, love the cast, but I haven't gotten heavily invested in it yet. And because of my past with Abrams' shows (the lost seasons of Lost, the frustration with Alias), I probably won't dig too deep. I'm taking my new Lost-approach: don't give a rat's ass about the minutia and it will continue to be enjoyable.

Chuck won me over last season. Just a fun show for a Monday evening. Fun is the watchword for Chuck. Zachary Levi remains as adorable as ever. I still don't see huge sparks between Sarah and Chuck. I love the relationship between Chuck and Ellie, Captain Awesome is more awesome, and even Morgan is not as grating. I won't start about Agent John Casey because Adam Baldwin cracking wise as a G-man every week on my television makes me so giddy, I might start gushing.

I like The Mentalist, don't love it. I am really not a fan of Robin Tunney's (even pleased with her demise on Prison Break before I stopped watching seasons ago). But give me Simon Baker (kooky and cool) and Owain Yeoman (skeptical and cool), I cannot resist. My Simon Baker swoon has been mentioned before, and I watched The Guardian, Smith (should've gotten another chance), and then there was Yeoman on Kitchen Confidential (also stellar as Eric Kocher in Generation Kill too), so how am I supposed to resist this one? It's decent, enjoyable, kind of predictable but not yet as obvious or bland as The Closer. And Simon Baker smiles more in one episode than he did the entire span of The Guardian. Did I mention Simon Baker? Sigh.    

The Bad(Ass)

This week on Gossip Girl, Blair threw her purse at Serena's head after outing her murder to the Dean's reception at Yale, all because Serena showed up at Rory Gilmore's former stomping grounds and Blair's dream school, and eventually stole her answer to the Dean's stupid parlor game, courtesy of sh*t-stirring Chuck (that should be his full name because (a) that's all he does and (b) he does it so damn well). Does it get any better than that? Oh wait, it does because now there's a bromantic triangle between Chuck, Nate, and Dan that is much more interesting than any other triangle that ever involved Vanessa and as much yay! as an old episode of Smallville. And all while Dan's little self-righteousness was exposed along with his abs after Chuck sent the angry Skull & Bones boys after fake-Nate, tying boxer-clad Danny Boy to a statue on campus. Danke, Chuck. This season got off to a good start, meandered a bit with the Lord and Duchess crap, but quickly returned to form. And I just found out that my friend S is now hooked too! Unlike Veronica Mars, I had nothing to do with this one, no dvd marathons, no obsessive chattering about it (hard to believe, I know). She alerted me last week with a one line e-mail: "I am obsessed with Gossip Girl." And on that day, leelee's heart grew three sizes.

Supernatural has somehow become one of my favorite shows. I've always liked it, usually recorded and watched it, but thanks to the CW starting its season of shows early, and the cliffhanger of Dean being stuck in Hell last season, I got hooked this season. I like the new Ruby even less than I liked the old Ruby, um, not so much (I watched half an episode of Wildfire once, and it was more than enough, horrible show, horrible acting, horrible horribleness). And I haven't read any forums or posts or visited any sites where fangirls may be going wild in happiness or anger because I am not interested in that point of view. I just watch. And enjoy, more and more every week. This week's bizarre black and white tribute to monster movies was weird, strange, and yet still awesome.

What is going on with Don Draper? This season on Mad Men, he's become a little less sympathetic for me but maybe it's because the women of the show are the true shining stars. And that's the point. I still do not look forward to a finale. The season just flies by too quickly.

How much fun is Michael Imperioli having on Life on Mars? I know, all of the actors are probably having a blast on that show. Harvey Keitel is obviously making the most of his time on the small screen. But every time Imperoli shows up, he just seems to be having so much fun. It has to be a nice change of pace after six seasons of playing Tony's little cousin Chirstopha. 

The Once Bad(Ass) Sometimes Good But Maybe Ugly

I cannot get into Dexter this season. I don't know why. Well, Rita drives me crazy, now more than ever (every time Julie Benz gives that shy Rita-smile, I want Darla to snap Rita's neck), and Deb annoys me again, so that doesn't help at all. I noticed my interest began to wane last season and thought it would pick back up this season. Michael C. Hall is reason enough to watch. He's just too-too-too amazing, regardless of what I think about the stroylines.

Same goes for Pushing Daisies. Well, I know what my problem is with it. I've known all along. I don't see a single sizzle of a spark of chemistry between Chuck and Ned. Never have. And the fact that Ned pined for Chuck so much after she moved out of the apartment, Do Not Care. They have fabulous "best friend chemistry," I just see no romantic chemistry, very rarely and hardly at all, if ever. I like all the actors, but I love Chi McBride and Kristin Chenoweth and Swoozie Kurtz the most, and I think it's tough to fall for a show when the B-characters often outshine the leads. I always wondered if this show would be able to sustain an audience weekly with it's whimsical wit. I think the Tim Burton-esque charm may be starting to wear off from the fantastical MotWs and the cracks in the show are starting to, well, show. But it makes smile and usually laugh, so I keep watching.

Every time I watch Heroes, I end up losing interest about half way through, and doing something else, get on-line, read a magazine, make a phone call. Now, I'm catching up on G4 later in the week because I realize I got distracted while watching. I was really excited about the premise for this season, really inerested in the villians-themed episodes. I still need to watch lats week's episode, which I heard is an improvement, so we'll see. I want to like it, I really do. But for every character I like, there is one I hate, and not in a love-to-hate kind of way. I also think it is still a skosh overrated and always feel a bit detached from it, like it lacks the necessary bit of heart every show needs, regardless of genre. Eh, next week, I could feel the opposite. 

The U-G-L-Y

Okay, 90210 ain't got no alibi. I know, there's talk that it will be better now that the Gilmore Girls pedigree has joined the writer's room, but I just don't see how it's possible. I tried it again, twice, on nights when nothing was on and I needed to noodle out on the couch to something mindnumbing. The characters are boring. The acting is often bland (Tristan Wilds, I hope you are making serious bank on this show because you are much better then it will ever allow you to be). The stories are recycled. And the Jessica Walter abuse (now bumped to recurring) just makes me ache for the snark of Lucille Bluth. It's like One Tree Hill without the Days of our Lives storylines. Which, actually, may make it more boring than OTH.

And those gone but not forgotten . . .

I was a fan of Life last season, but I haven't gotten into it yet. Damian Lewis is the only real draw at this point, I never really latched onto much else, but he's enough with that performance. I was hoping Donal Logue would help, but I don't really care for his character much, which is truly disappointing.

I'm glad that The Sarah Connor Chronicles got the back nine last week because I miss watching it, just haven't caught up with this season's episodes yet. I guess I don't fit any "average" audience demographic since I have trouble choosing between TSCC, Gossip Girl, and Chuck. It seems like for once, the networks programmed shows against each other without incredibly overlapping core demographics, and yet I watch all three of them. Sigh.

About my life? Pfffft. Those take me forever, and well, sometimes don't even happen, which is usually how I end up in a "How did I get here?" pickle. I'm working on that. Making simple decisions easily and swiftly can make you feel better when you make crappy choices that count in life. Like what to wear to an event, what to cook for company, what movie to see, what to watch on the telly. Simple, easy, nobody's future is riding on it.

Last night, my TV dilemma: How does a girl choose between Gossip Girl and The Sarah Connor Chronicles? I know, it's one time when counter-programming should've been in my TV-viewing best interest. Because I bet that's not a common dilemma among average core viewers of either show. I like my UES drama queens (looking at you, Chuck Bass) as much as I like my badass shitkickers from the future (Cameron is still my favorite). My solution really depends on my mood. Yesterday, it was time for some light, cheesy drama in the form of GG guilty pleasure and record TSCC for later. A sound decision!

And tonight we have another choice: 90210 or Fringe. It's okay to laugh because I know it's really not a choice. I mean, I heard Ann Gillespie was going to reprise drunk-and-deluded Jackie Taylor tonight, who I even once noted as my fave BH 90210 mom, but the good Reverend Gillespie cannot keep me from JJ Abrams's shiny new show. And really, she would be the only reason. I tried last week, actually recorded because I didn't think I'd make it through without the fast forward function. I had to see the pilot episode, for pop culture's sake. But I couldn't muster the desire to actually watch it. So I caught some of it when I noticed it being run in place of Supernatural repeats. But, well, totally forgetting their names already, with Perpetual Drunkface (TM Fug girls) and Wigged Out Drama Queen and the new girl, Smiles So Much I Suspect Brain Damage, and then add Lori Laughlin (Rob Estes, I generally like, despite his Silk Stalkings past), it just made me sad-sad-sad to see Jessica Walters answer to a name other than Lucille and Tristan Wilds out of Baltimore and in Beverly Hills. It was kind of lame and dull and cheesy, although the location shots were nice. Actually, Santa Monica pier at night may have been the highlight of the whole show for me. I didn't like the first episode of GG much, but this has a whole "I might watch if nothing else is on, and I have the flu, and I lost the remote" vibe, so never say never, you know. I may catch it at least one more time if they rerun it on Sunday afternoons. Oh, and I'm not a fan of FOX, but I love that they are sticking it to the CW by programming the most anticipated new drama against a show even FOX wouldn't think to bring back. Another sound decision! I'm on a roll.
 

Last week on Gossip Girl, after we found out that Georgina held some salacious secret of Serena's, I actually said "What, did S kill a man on the UES just to watch him die?" For a sin to make Serena quake in her stilettos, it would have to be murder-bad, right? Sexcapades and drugs are pastimes for these seventeen-year-olds who swill martinis in nightclubs. Hell, Chuck runs a stripclub. It just couldn't be related to those particular extracurriculars (although Blair might disagree if the bed buddies were actually of the "poor" variety). So imagine my glee when Serena admitted to Blair that she believes she killed someone. There was a squeal, fists pumped the air, I believe I said "Holy Crap!" followed by "Hell yeah!" It was TV soapy bliss.

Michelle Trachtenberg still doesn't impress much; Georgina is kind of bland for an evil arch nemesis, but still good fun for the plot twistage. I was hoping to love-to-hate her, but really don't feel either. Although, when she outed Eric to his family at dinner, hate ensued. I wish S wasn't such a quivering mess around Georgie. I know, Georgina gifted her with a porntastic vid of the "murder" and has inexplicably wormed her way into the hearts of Dan and Vanessa (because they are so accepting of new faces, since when?) as "Sarah," but still, I expect more strength from S. Maybe she needs B to keep her strong, or send her to France.

In other news, Queen B destroyed Little J and reclaimed her throne. Jenny proved she is still junior varsity when it comes to the sport of social climbing. I wanted to annihilate Asher, not just cause him societal distress. He went from obnoxious to evil in twenty minutes. And hurting Eric, well, leave grasshopper alone! I'll forgive Eric for his bad taste in boys because Asher was a master manipulator and Eric has been dealing with a lot in his life. We make supremely stupid choices, especially about love, at that age even without his issues. Not to mention they met at the Ostroff Center, when they both needed someone who understood their wounds and could help each other heal. Well, at least in Eric's case; Asher doesn't appear to be human, so I'm not sure how he is capable of such things. Plus, Lily has been his relationship role model and lately he's been taking advice from Chuck (who I really missed--Chuck will be so upset he missed all of this). Chuck may not judge, E, but he is no relationship guru. I adored that B protected Eric and wasn't willing to out Asher at Eric's expense, but Eric was willing to do so in order to stop Asher. Very brave and strong, maybe he can pass some of that on to his sister. E's the moral center, the voice of reason, and that's not easy on the UES. Be proud, reflect on the teachings of Ostroff and share with Lily, and you'll be fine, grasshopper.

The murder confession that B had to drag out of a distraught S? Perfect ending for a spectacular episode with some of the best lines all season. Here are some favorites, still missing a few (like Eric's about being Gossip Girl):

Lily: When you revise the seating chart, don't forget to place Mr. Spitzer as far away from Serena's table as possible

Jenny: [to Dan] Even you should know that jealousy clashes with L.L. Bean pants.

Dan: I tried reaching out to her, I really did. But she just pushed me away. And then she dissed my pants.
Blair: Perhaps I underestimated her.

Blair: [to Dan] It's your brotherly duty to keep her from becoming the next Katie Holmes.

Blair: Right now Gossip Girl's credibility is like Tinsley Mortimer's after a few martinis.

Blair: Looks like someone needs a semester in France.

Gossip Girl: Don't look so sad little J! The sun will come out tomorrow, even though your boyfriend did today.

By the by . . .Did you know Lily and Bart have a wedding site? Get the scoop on the van der Woodsen-Bass nuptials!

I have been in car repair hell for the past few weeks. Totally distracted by it and other crappiness of life which is why I haven't rambled lately, or finished and/or made a ramble public.

- Did you hear the WGA Strike ended? Yeah, I am so behind that I didn't even post a proper huzzah for the picketing scribes last week. Is a late huzzah better than no huzzah at all? If a huzzah falls in the blogosphere and nobody hollas a huzzah back, um, who cares. Word of the day: huzzzzzaaah. And, no, I am not committing am HUI, huzzah under the influence. Just like the word. Anyway, it's over and time will tell if the writers are truly happy with their deal, but I'm most stoked for all of those below-the-line crew members who can now step away from the Top Ramen with the production frenzy.

- With the strike over, a few of the networks were itching to announce happy news of the renewal-kind:
 
    CBS: Yeah, I don't really watch the eye network which is why I'm sadly not surprised shows like The Big Bang Theory or Ghost Whisperer were renewed. And that's why I don't watch. The cheestastic Moonlight was not picked up but is going back into production. Same for How I Met Your Mother, the only other show I sometimes catch. Scratch that, I also have been charmed by the underrated The New Adventures of Old Christine from time to time (such a great cast). Obviously, execs will wait to see if Jericho's fans really can bring the ratings to keep it from facing the chopping block again. Liked it, didn't love it, but I wish any show with a devoted fan base much luck. Always root for the underdog!

    NBC: Well, NBC decided to give newbies Life and Chuck another shot. Excuse me for a sec. Hell YEAH, Bartowski! And it will be lovely to see Damien Lewis get another chance too, ahem. Surprise, surprise they also picked up their only ratings hit, Heroes. As for Friday Night Lights, things look dim (never pardon my puns) for one of the best shows on the telly roster. But televisionaries Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker know what they're doing, right? American Gladiators, Knight Rider, and Bionic Woman are the future of television. But those remakes, um, wouldn't that be, aren't they, is there such a thing as a re-future? Bionic Woman didn't work out so well, huh? Rewarmed 80s shows might not be the future after all. But then American Gladiators is a hit and gets another season (sigh). Way to uphold that shiny reputation, Silverman. Did we just update our spring wardrobe to the Sonny Crockett collection too?

    ABC: The alphabet network renewed the usual ratings grabbing suspects: siblings, housewives, slutty surgeons, and flight 815. Newcomers include Dirty Sexy Money, Samantha Who?, and Pushing Daisies. Not a surprise that the Piemaker and his merry band of darlings will return, but I am interested to see if the show can continue to be charming without being gimmicky.

    CW: Not to be outdone by the big boys, the CW announced when new episodes will air of its current shows. Wait, what? Did I miss the announcement? Other than the cancellation of CW Now, anything else, former-frog-now-just-green network? New episodes soon, alrighty.

-There are two online petitions to save Friday Night Lights. Click on the shiny light bulb at the bottom of my sidebar to head over to Best Week Ever's blog devoted to saving the show and sign their petition. They have tons of suggestions for showing your support as a member of the Dillon Panthers Booster Club (what will the assistants at NBC do with cases of light bulbs?). The folks at Save Friday Night Lights also have a petition and are raising funds for customized mini footballs to send to the network.

- Joel Surnow left 24. The show was its worst last season (hell, I can't even remember most of it) so maybe it's time for a little new life to creatively revitalize it. Probably the best for Surnow and the show. Wonder what it will be like without the ultra-conservative steering the wheel? Time will tell, dink dank, dink dank.

- Ausiello's strike chart is now being regularly updated as a post-strike chart for the RETURN of shows to the telly. Five new episodes of Gossip Girl.Oh, Little J, feel the wrath of B.

-Coming Soon: my Pro/Con list for watching Rock of Love II: Barbie Hair and Botoxxx Club for Middleaged Dirtbag and Women With Rock-Bottom Low Self-Esteem. Spoiler: much like the bimbos on this show, the Pros lose.

The Good

30 Rock
"You know what, I've moved on. I bought a whole bunch of apartments. I bought a black apartment."  Liz  drunk dialing the co-op board  when they wouldn't return her call after their "date." Best part of the entire episode: Liz Lemon on a treadmill at 7 a.m. drinking a glass of wine while placing her final call

"I've always been told that New York was the twenty-first century city of Sodom and look what's happened? I've become one of them. I've been sodomized." First Kenneth became addicted to coffee (hot drinks are of the "devil's temperature"), then he went to a PG-13 movie, bought sunglasses, and tried a "Jewish doughnut." He promised his mama he wouldn't change, but NYC changed him, so he had to return to Georgia.

Gossip Girl
Serena: Anybody notice the weather today?
Blair: What?
Serena: Take a look outside, B. My first response would be that the sky is a clear blue easy.
Blair: Dorota, you may be excused now.

"I command myself not to be pregnant." Blair before taking her Clear Blue Easy test.

"I'm so happy. I would have had no idea what to wear to a paternity hearing." Serena hearing the results said test. Actually, Blake Lively had several snarks this week; the writers were spreading the wealth and not giving Leighton Meester all of the goodies.

"RALLY!" Tim Gunn altering his usual "Make it work!" to boost Christian out of his rut on Project Runway. I want a pocket-sized TIm Gunn to carry around for when I need life advice or encouragement. Who doesn't love TIm Gunn?

Why did I have to say goodbye to 30 Rock and Gossip Girl  in the same week (the reason for the above quotefest)? It's so unfair. Sigh.

The 30 Rock episode wasn't the greatest of all episodes, but Liz's adventures with the co-op board were hysterical. Jack and CeCe's storyline was kind of dull, although it still had moments (Lott-Spector Recreational Whale Torture Bill), but the "Midnight Train to Georgia" song-and-dance actually made up for it. When it started, I was skeptical it would be funny, thought they may have derailed. By the end, I was laughing myself off the elliptical trainer. I'm too verklempt to say more.

Which brings me to the last Gossip Girl of the season, my favorite small screen guilty pleasure. So much crammed into one episode, I've decided to go with a train of thought ramble. Wanna hear it? Here it go. First, Rufus' sub-plot was Kirsten Cohen-level dull. Parents don't have to be snoozers, Schwartz. Next up, Dan and Serena. Dan can be so self-righteous that he's a skosh insufferable. I wanted to deck him for the way he turned down Serena's first Christmas present (too expensive but she was so excited--graciously accept, jackwad), but the way he handled Serena's not-reply to his proclamation of love, well, that Serena's a classy gal because he should've limped to his next class (it's a mystery why I'm still single). Kind of bamboozled the girl, jackass. Meh, I really like them together, find them to be genuinely adorable, and hello, Penn Badgely. Serena rocked through Blair's preggo drama. Those two may have knock-down spats, but in the end, they realize they need each other the most at those times. Their final scene, spectacular. As for Blair's maybe-baby-daddy mess, I've never been a fan of Nate (Chace Crawford wins the Teddy Dunn Award for Outstanding Impersonation of Lumber this season--studio doesn't care if he can act as long as he's pretty) so I'm cool with his farewell to Blair. He didn't want Blair when she adored him, they break up, his life goes down the drain, and then suddenly the world revolves around Blair. Uggh. At least Chuck knew what he wanted, even if he is a pervy, unscrupulous douchebag with a heart of scotch. Juciest breakup, Chuck and Nate. Who should break up? Chuck and turtlenecks. Moving on to Little J. I take back my comparison to fabulous Caitlin Cooper, nope, not even close. Jenny has some of the worst dialogue, she's whiny and annoying, and I can't wait to see what Blair plots in revenge. Little J is not ready for the wrath of powertwins Blair and Serena. What else? Eric is the bestest brother, the Ostroff Center taught grasshopper well. No Lily, too bad, but no Vanessa, awesooooome. Okay, that's all. Whew.

Yes, there is a b in subtle, and The Wire put it there. Bubs struggles to stay clean while his old pal, McNutty, fell off the wagon and rolled down the hill into a bar. Full-circle, Jimmy? The unit was busted up because the Boy-Mayor can't keep his promises to the police department with the crumbling school system. Marlow stirred the pot of Prop Joe's co-op. And the city desk editor, Gus, is just trying to fill his section with at least a few inches of good copy about the corrupt city council. Nobody can do a newsroom story better than David Simon.

Finally, Friday Night Lights returned to form. No soapy drama. Well, except for Riggo stealing money from Tighty Whitey Meth Dealer to pay the mortgage while putting his handprints all over his handgun (hello, Chekov). But the rest of the episode was fantastic. Kyle Chandler's Emmy reel needs to include both his apology to Riggins and his talk with Julie. The Follicles of Forgiveness even made an appearance during both of those speeches. As for Smash's verbal commitment, isn't a verbal worth the paper it's printed on? It's not like signing a letter of intent. I did find the recruitment humorous, especially the Alabama talk. Son, do not go to Bama now. And not because of the fictional players Coach Taylor mentioned. The writers didn't know that Bama would have a 6-6 season, adding a bottom rung bowl win to cap off the year, true. But they did know the school forked over an obscene $4 million a year to lure Nick Saban to a program that has been trying to rebuild ever since Gene Stallings departed a decade ago. At least they finally have scholarships to spread around again; sanctions are a bitch (guess my alma mater?).
[ETA: So I missed the first few minutes of FNL with Smash's meeting with the Alabama recruiter, or at least the part where his new little girlfriend/agent first showed up. I was reading TWoP's recap of the epi. and read that she was wowing him with knowledge of the Tide's "eight national championships." Excuse me? Try twelve, sweetie. Come on, writers! I don't know if I should be more pissed about the writing staff not doing their research, or their missed opportunity to have the goofy God-Bless-Bama recruiter correct nosy Noelle. And, by the by, I love football but it isn't a religion for me.]

The Ugly

Well, Kevin's Project Runway dress definitely belongs here. It did look kind of cheap and not like a prom dress. Too bad because I liked most of his work before this week, and wanted Town Crier Ricky to go home. Victorya's dress was fun, well-made, and suited her client, but I wanted Sweet P to kick her annoying ass.

Moonlight returned this week. It wasn't terrible, but I had issues with Mick's emergency treatment to a dying Josh. It was conveniently introduced, after Josh had been shot, that Mick was a medic in WWII. Was that mentioned before? When I watched, I thought not, but now that I think about it, maybe it was? I don't pay the best attention to this show. Eh, they made up for it when Mick wickedly vamped out on Josh's killers.

I caught two episodes of Grey's Anatomy this week, the new one and a repeat. Watching the new one, I realized I don't miss it because I don't care about the characters any more. Bailey was pretty much it, and I am not happy with what Shonda decided to do with her home life. Realistic? Probably, but when has Grey's ever been based in reality? Interestingly, I also caught an old episode on Lifetime (forgot I had that channel, hee). It was the one with the subway accident with the man and woman impaled by the same pole. Watching Monica Keena ask her partner in pain about heaven, knowing she had to die to save his life, made me tear up as much as it did the first time I saw it, and I don't cry at shows. Then, I still cared about most of the characters, didn't yet hate Meredith, didn't yet love Addison, and didn't say "you go, Derek" when he dumped Mer (as I did during the new episode; not because I'm choosing sides, because they both grate, but anything that "ends" their relationship is fine by me). The medical stories always made ER look like a Discovery Health show, but the show was a soap set in a hospital so I didn't expect much. I never believed that Grey's was the show that the hype made it out to be, but it was a fun, guilty pleasure to snark on. It's too bad it's no longer what it used to be.

I decided to ease back into blogging with the weekly wrap-up post, but there hasn't been much on my telly lately so this isn't going to follow my standard pattern of The Good, The Bad(Ass), and The Ugly. It's kind of strange to go into the standard holiday hiatus knowing some shows won't return for the Winter season. February sweeps are going to be interesting since even many newbies will be kaput by then. The Futon Critic as always provides an ab-fab guide to the Winter season, as well as one for how the strike impacts your favorite series (ie, how many episodes are left).

The Good

"I know. I'm the perfect one." Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl after being told what a stellar Constance Billard student she is by the new head mistress during her interrogation. The eye roll of false humility Leighton Meester added was perfection.

"And then I will kick your old tired ass six ways from Sunday, Donald" Coach Taylor on Friday Night Lights finally cracking under pressure and telling the rival whiny, asshat coach about how to act respectfully in his locker room.

The Bad(Ass) Blues

Slim pickings. Thankfully, many shows return next week, and The Wire returns for its final season tonight. Before the strike started, I remember reading an article (I couldn't tell you who, what, when, or where) about how one show that might actually benefit from the tumbleweeds in scheduling could be The Wire. The show known as "the best show nobody is watching" might draw a decent audience for once. Truer words. If you have HBO and don't tune in, just watch it already. My David Simon-appreciation goes back to a love for Homicide: Life on the Streets, and my admiration has only grown with characters like Bubs, Omar, Kima, and McNutty. This season we are also blessed with Homicide vet, actor and director Clark Johnson as Baltimore Sun city desk editor Gus.  

I missed Friday Night Lights. This week's episode felt a little like the Tim Riggins show. And for once, he played a bit of the white knight. While staying with the Taylors, Tim takes care of Gracie. Then runs errands for Shelley. He even protects Julie while a tornado hits the market during said errand (ah, tornado season, I don't look forward to your spring arrival). And that was just in the first five minutes. He proceeded to charmingly wreak havoc in Tami's life, flirting with Shelley, bringing porntastic cable to the Taylor home, and playing midnight ping pong with Coach. Riggins' downfall was Coach finding him with a drunk Julie. He actually saved Jules from a skeevoid date-rapist who reminded me of the Swede sorta-kinda, and then took her home while she was still upright-ish. He was caught trying to move her into a position on her bed that would eliminate asphyxiation by vomit. The Follicles of Fury were joined by Clenched Jaw of Rage when Coach booted Riggo from the house. Elsewhere in Dillon: Tyra blew off Landry, AGAIN; Matt and Hellllllo Nurse Carlotta are macking in public; Buddy Garrity begged for forgiveness from his wife only to learn she is happy with her new fiance; and the rival high school took up residence at Dillon after the tornado tore up their campus with an actual pissing contest ensuing between the football teams.

The Christmas episode of Gossip Girl was delicious. I didn't even hate Vanessa. But she was really shoehorned into "School Lies," and then proceeded to grate my nerves. Do these rich kids really need to steal the key to the school's pool? I guess it's the rebellion that makes it fun, regardless of the fact that they probably can have pool parties at any one of the high-rise buildings they call home. Whatevs, it was boring. I don't understand why Lily has to marry Bart Bass. She dumped Rufus based on Serena's deluded reasoning that she and Dan are MfEO, for the moment (MfEOFtM?). Yes, it is admirable to sacrifice your happiness for your child's even though you have known this man for decades and Serena has known Dan for months. But it's not like you have to marry Rufus any time soon, or ever actually. Marrying Bart Bass, sire of Chucky, kind of counteracts that sacrificial sentiment. Stay single, Lil. Kick up your Manolos with Eleanor. She's back on the dating scene thanks to Roman's matchmaking shove. You've got to still be getting alimony, right? Or is that really why you're in the hotel during "renovations"? Hmmm..

I'm still not loving Project Runway this season, but I am glad they brought back Chris March. I also root for Kit, aka Pistol because costume designers are amazingly versatile seamstresses and designers. Christian is like the male Paris Hilton, or Paris in drag, at least what she would think is hot, and fierce, and kind of a big deal in drag. Gillian's Twizzler dress was pretty damn awesome, although I adored Rami's, and Chris' subtle design floored me because he could have gone so Santino over the top. I wanted to choke Victorya every time she rolled her eyes during the final judging. But wacky earth muffin Elisa got auffed, which was not a surprise since, as Christian snarked, those sleeves did look like floaties, and they focused on her backstory in the episode. I don't watch a ton of reality shows, but one thing I've noticed especially with Bravo's shows is that if your backstory is key to the week's storytelling, you are on the chopping block. And if your budding friendship is highlighted (Casey's pals on Top Chef), get out your suitcase.

The Unconscious

I was going to make it a separate post, but it works here. Anyhoodle, I was sick this week, spent several days in an over-the-counter induced haze when I was awake. No news, I'm a TV-marathon whore. Last week VH1 aired every cycle of America's Next Top Model. I've only watched ANTM when I caught a couple of earlier seasons in marathons long ago. Also, I would catch the last five minutes when it aired before Veronica Mars for a Tyra-is-batshit-crazy fix. Since I loathe daytime television and wasn't really in the mood to watch movies or even deal with dvds, I ended up watching most of three cycles of ANTM between antihistamine mini-comas. Yep, all Tyra, all the time. I learned the difference between fierce, Fierce, and FIERCE and when each is appropriate. I found out that there is a fine line between many expressions, and Tyra will always masterfully show you. I discovered the difference between sophisticated sexy and hoochifying one's beauty, which basically depends on the position of the booty. We should all go after our dreams and reach for the stars, no matter what our background and abilities, especially if we want to model Cover Girl lipsticks. Finally, I realized that Tyra is not whack; she's wacky. She's more looney tunes than batshit crazy. As I type this, I realize that might be the antihistamines talking. Hmmm. If I was scrambling to tune into her talk show, I would assume brainwashing could even be at play, but I only desire to see clips of her show accompanied by Joel McHale's snark on The Soup. Whew.

Strike Links

A week until the Golden Globes and SAG refuses to cross the picket line, standing by the WGA. No presenters, no award winners. Nada as long as it is broadcast by NBC. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is trying to convince NBC not to air the show so that the picket line will lift for the evening, and nominees can collect their awards. Jeff Zucker refused to budge, but now maybe a compromise is in the works. Does anyone really care? The Globes are the only awards show I usually enjoy, at least most of it, but it's still no great loss. Maybe a break from the overhyped egotastic awards shows would be a good thing, give us something to actually miss about them.

Edited later to add strike links because I just, um, forgot?

I was a very bad TV-geek this week. I missed shows because actual real-life important stuff interrupted regular programming. Which happens, that's life. The badness is that I recorded shows and still haven't watched them. Chuck didn't get my undivided attention, and I tried to watch Gossip Girl, but it was v. late when I did and I think I fell asleep in the last ten. Couple that with no Pushing Daisies or Supernatural or something else I'm forgetting right now, and well, I don't have much to post.

So I'm changing things up and adding a few telly-related items that snagged my interest.

• This handy dandy little strike chart compiled by Michael Ausiello (slowly but surely, I totally defected from Watch with Kristin and became a bona fide Aushole) tells us not only how many episodes remain of our fave programs, but also how many episodes have been/will be completed.

• Kiefer Sutherland started his sentence at the Glendale hoosegow (of course his mugshot smolders). Let's hope he doesn't end up as scraggly as Jack Bauer after his stint in the Chinese prison. Eh, it's not like working in the kitchen or doing laundry is actual torture, so I'm guessing not. I guess we won't get a rematch of Sutherland vs. Spruce this year for Christmas.

• I never thought I'd defend Jennifer Love Hewitt for any reason whatsoever (really not a fan), but twice in one week? I know Hell didn't freeze over because it's 70+ degrees in my hometown. So, she's on the cover of People defending her average-looking ass to folks who have criticized it (as a part of her size two frame) after being snapped by scumbag razzi in a bikini while on va-cay. Good for her for calling out skeezy TMZ, all the jackwads that chimed in with negative thoughts about her normal booty, and for the ridiculous expectations put on women by Hollywood when it comes to size and weight. But she didn't say boo about being on NY Daily News' list of the 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood? I think she is the only celeb without a scandal and/or public dumbass or drunkass behavior on the list. She's there for just being her, right? Maybe she didn't want to acknowledge it with a response (it is the Daily News). But, criticize her butt and get a scathing personal blog post and media frenzy; criticize her intellect, nada? What's up with that?

On 30 Rock . . .
Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: Oh, that word bums me out unless it’s between the words meat and pizza.

"I hear there's a great selection of handlers in this year's CIA Christmas catalog." Casey on Chuck. It's so nice to have Adam Baldwin on my small screen every week. Sigh.

"Serena plans on bedding as many millionaires as possible." The last line of Serena's introduction at the debutante ball on Gossip Girl. Well, Blair didn't want it to sound like hers.

The Bad(Ass)

Oh, Heroes.  Hell, after last week, I  need to watch it again. A nice season finale that answered questions, solved some mysteries while still providing cliffhangers (something Lost is incapable of doing; I don't care what Stephen King says in the Dec. 14 EW about these two shows, I lost a lot of faith and interest in Lost once it became obvious the audience wouldn't get answers and issues made it apparent Lindelof and Cuse might not actually have a plan. At least Tim Kring owns up to his mistakes). No shirtless boys, but that's okay because there was lots of action to distract me. Nathan better not die. One of the reasons I tuned into this show early on was for Pasdar. As for Niki? Meh.

Although I'm kind of tired of comparisons of Lily/Rufus and Serena/Dan (Jenny and Eric can never date, please) on Gossip Girl because it's kind of weird and skeevy, I did like scheming society beeyotch Grandmother CeCe as the foil to the relationships. Because I really love Lily and Rufus together. So if it means they learn a thing or two from watching their kiddos defy the odds, struggle to be together but continue to find a way, so be it. And she's a much more entertaining obstacle than Alison who truly annoys me. By the by, good to have Jenny and Chuck back this week, even though Chuck only found out he had a heart once it was broken (love Gossip Girl so much sometimes). I thought the ball would be kind of hokey, but somehow, Josh Scwhartz and crew are still managing to make rehashed drama seem fresh.

The Ugly

Dexter's Lila = Hate. The show still manges to rock, although a little differently this season--I just needed to say that upfront. I am sick of Lila. I totally retract ever thinking she reminded me of a younger, artsy-psycho Nigella Lawson because Nigella is nine kinds of awesome. Oh, and Deb and Lundy do not work. I wanted to like them because I adore Deb this season, as opposed to last season when I didn't mind if Rudy/Brian killed her. I also love Keith Carradine and what he's done with Lundy. It's not a problem with the age difference; those two lack any spark.

Matt Saracen and Helllllo Nurse! got so much worse this week on Friday Night Lights. They are disaster. And just killed a good episode too. Wrapped up the Mini-Mart Murder, thank you. Julie mended fences with Tami, spectacular. Riggins did whatever it takes to make Coach and the Follicles of Fury happy while realizing that Tighty-Whitey Meth Dealer is a danger, delightful. Buddy Garrity and Santiago tripped over obstacles in their new relationship, surprisingly touching. Jason hooked up with the waitress after his internet hookup turned freaky, um, not really digging that. But Scott Porter was adorable (he still reminds me of Teddy Dunn for some reason) and now that Street's moved in with Herc, maybe we'll get more of those two in the remaining episodes.

Strike Link

Oy, just one because I am so bummed. Talks have stalled thanks to the AMPTP's grandstanding ulitmatum issued to the WGA. (Check out the link to Nikki Finke's blog with a copy of the proposal and decide for yourself, much politics). So much for a merry holiday in LaLaLand. Not gonna happen. Even the president of IATSE, who has been against the way the WGA has handled negotiations for a long time, is siding with the producers. That's not good. There are 50,000 members of IATSE below-the-line crew trying to make ends meet (the union has a no-strike clause) who might not be too supportive if negotiations drag on forever. Told you that the work stoppage could be a problem. Here's hoping the new year brings progress.  .

Egads, pickings are slim this week. On top of the very light schedule, I even missed Scrubs completely.

The Good

Morgan often grates on Chuck, but he rocked this week. There were several funny gems in the Black Friday segment, but this one scored points with me.
Morgan: Sorry, you look just like this guy who roomed with my best friend at Stanford
Bryce: Oh, yeah. Sorry. I went to Penn. I'll take it as a compliment.
Morgan: Don't. That guy Bryce was a real douche.
True Friend 1; Asshat 0

"Why is saving the world always your responsibility?" Ando to Hiro on Heroes

"An attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn’t even spend a short amount of time in prison." Emerson on Pushing Daisies.

"Don't mess with the Pie Hos!!" Chuck and Olive after exacting their revenge on the candy store on Pushing Daisies.

"If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step-dads." Blair on Gossip Girl after finding out Lilly and rocker Rufus were an item back in the day.

"These things tend to happen, Liz. I had my no sex with Asians rule but then one day you walk into Sharper Image and there's Kwan." Because I usually don't laugh at Jenna, I'm giving her the 30 Rock quote o' the week.

"Is it still Cabo in your pants?" Matt Saracen on Friday Night Lights showing up to rescue Smash after his beers-n-women recruitment weekend went wrong.

The Bad(Ass)

Blair Waldorf is always badass. No, she doesn't literally kick butt like Elle on Heroes and she doesn't knit wicked gun cozies like Emerson on Pushing Daisies, but she proves week after week that she is one of the best characters on TV right now. Leighton Meester is devilishly awesome in the role and manages to make Blair a snotty bitch that we can still sympathize with. Even her bulimia storyline this week seemed fresh and interesting, so well done. Good writing is necessary, but it takes a good actress to make it work.

So this week Heroes blessed us with Sylar sans shirt instead of Peter. I love to see Sylar be truly evil, and Zachary Quinto is very easy on the eyes, but he just doesn't do it for me. Maybe because even before he was cast as Spock, he was Spock-ish to me. But at least the show is maintaining a strong sense of continuity by giving us a pretty, half-nekkid boy dripping wet. When will this happen for Adam "Kensai" Monroe? Ahem, as for the episode's actual events, HRG is alive and pissed! Claire is grieving and pissed! Elle stalks with sarcasm! Mohinder has a cure for Niki! Monica is in trouuuble! Adam is eeeevil! Peter is misguided! And most importantly, Alejandro is D-E-A-D! Farewell Tears-for-Fears Twins; now we just have Tears-for-Fears Maya in the wicked hands of her sweet Gabriel. Aw, Sylar, be gentle when you use her in your heinous plans. Awesome. At least it looks like Volume Two will end with a bang and not the whimper that fans once feared.

30 Rock. I will so miss this show; I've grown to really love it. I laughed so much at Jack and Tracy's Knuckle Beach Little League storyline that I think I burned off my pie from Pushing Daisies' night. I even laugh at almost all of Tracy Jordan's lines, and that astounds me. Tina Fey is badass. I want to be her when I grow up.

The Ugly

"Seven, did you lose that virginity yet?" Grrrrr, when is the Mini-Mart Murder storyline going to end on Friday Night Lights? I thought it might wrap this week, but I'm okay with that, actually, because it means less time focused next week on Saracen's sexxxy story. HATE. So when Tim Riggins asked Seven about his virtue at practice, I figured Chekhov's gun just went bang and Saracen would definitely bang Helllllo Nurse! I absolutely adore Matt Saracen. His cute little stammers, innocent bright-eyed outlook, and incredibly mature sense of responsibility, le sigh. Even when he made his speech to Carlotta about why he dumped the new cheerleader, I thought "I heart Saracen." But then lonely Carlotta jumped him and Saracen's virginity is predictably tossed out the window with his Hanes t-shirt. HATE. Come on, writers! Why the rehashed soap opera bull? This is the show about a football team that's not about football. It's about people handling realistic obstacles in their small town lives. Coach and Tami, real. Saracen bedding the "exotic" live-in, unreal. Eh, maybe Saracen can get advice from Riggins this time instead of Smash. Since he had an affair with an older woman. Last season. Remember? I wish I didn't.

I didn't really enjoy Pushing Daisies this week. It just left me feeling kind of meh. Maybe because I am not a fan of Molly Shannon, although I have enjoyed her sitcom guest spots on Will & Grace and Scrubs, and I did love the homage to The Birds this week. I also didn't like the Lars and the Real Girl mystery of the week, and still really don't feel the Ned-Chuck connection. But my real problem is what has happened to Chuck's wardrobe. Maybe she's in a seventies phase, but what was up with that hat and blue tinted John Lennon glasses? Although all of the clothes had a very 70s feel (I spied so much polyester in the MOTW) this episode. I'm just not digging it. And for some reason, when I don't like Chuck's wardrobe, I like Chuck even less.

Strike Links

So, LA Weekly's Nikki Finke got everyone's hopes up this week with rumors that things looked up with negotiations. It turns out she was off the mark. Well, she did say it was rumor even though the source is often reliable. And she is often more accurate than the trades, so I still consider her the best source of info. Things could get worse this week after the WGA responds to the new Partnership proposal that doesn't really sound all that new and calls for rollbacks. Way to go, AMPTP. At least they're talking, right?

In other news, Carson Daly is a tool; Conan O'Brien rocks socks. No, wait, that's not news. What I find interesting is that Carson claims that if he didn't go back to work, he would lose his show. Because of his contract, blah, blah, laughtrackcakes. Does anyone miss his show? Will a dip in ratings be noticeable? I've never, not once, laughed at a "joke" he has told, monologue or not. And his interviews suck worse than Leno's. So, maybe coming back is a good thing because it might mean his show is canceled. It hasn't been watchable since Bob Costas left anyway.