My plan to blog about the Upfronts! as they occurred was thwarted by the project with a nefarious impending deadline. Yesterday, all things were moving right along at a steady pace when it turned into a bit of a clusterfrick (in honor of Scrubs, even though I still think it should've ended two seasons ago). I am currently taking a break from it because if I don't, I might lose my mind and I need what's left of it to finish this motherfricker.
So, I got sidetracked by life and the need to pay bills, damn life and bills. But I fully intend to finish what I started, and start what I need to finish. Did I mention I'm working on little sleep and gallons of caffeine? Well, this may not be as funny as I though then, but I do offer a little laughter in place of my rambling about 2009-2010 television schedules.
Courtesy of FishbowlLA:
Are Unemployed Writers Turning To Amazon.com For Creative Outlet?
According to television execs, we're supposed to be excited Excited EXCITED. Because it's Upfronts! week. Didn't ya know?!?! Was that a 'meh' I heard? Yeah, thought so.
I know, I haven't been around for a while. Actually, I've written several posts just in the last week that I haven't made public because I wanted to proof (and edit out some rambling--I know, hard to believe). But it's time for the Upfronts! Which means very little but the network execs like to think the Upfronts! are thrilling and imperative to the world spinning right round, even though all the confetti-tossing is really to attract ad moola that will hopefully trickle down and keep them employed and out of personal bankruptcy. So the thrill is really just for network honchos to show their competitors what big money they can draw for mediocre programming on as little budget as possible. Huzzah for Hollywood! But it does offer a chance for tv-geeks to rant and rave about what the evil networks are doing to their precious couch-tater time. So I am going to jump back into blogging, despite being on deadline for a project, and post to my heart's content since it's time for the Upfronts! Upfronts! Upfronts! Well, except for NBC which had it's Infronts? two weeks ago (blogged about it but wanted to edit a tangent about Chuck, which got picked up this weekend! Yay for announcements made two weeks after the Infronts? to try and upstage the Upfronts! Silverman, you are so you.)
So, here is FOX's 2009-2010 lineup. Pairing Bones with Fringe makes superb sense, although Fringe is still opposite NBC's funnies and my Thursday-night-addiction, Supernatural, so still won't be watching it live (and still have to catch up on a lot of season one). Bones got two seasons. I've never really been a big fan although I do watch from time to time. It often falls flat for me and I don't see the chemistry between Boothe and Bones (think I'm just not a big fan of Emily Deschanel), but good for David Boreanz. Let's see, what else do I care about? They canceled The Sarah Connor Chronicles which is lame because the show really improved after limping along early on in the season, at least the finale was spectacular. And, as someone pointed out somewhere on a message board (don't recall, sorry), with Terminator:Salvation coming out this summer it would be perfect promotion for the show. I always hoped Sci-Fi (oh, wait, is it Sy-Fy?) would give it a good home after BSG ended. Let's see, what else? Dollhouse was picked up, which I am ambivalent about. I'm a big goofy fan of Whedon shows (Firefly has ended up being my favorite with Angel and Buffy respectively following, probably because I can still see Angel in syndication every morning on TNT), but I just cannot get behind the premise of this show, for many reasons, or believe Eliza Dushku can carry it on her shoulders. It's just often subpar, and that's disappointing. But Whedon shows do often get better with time, so maybe it will improve, I just don't know if I'll ever be on board. Alan Tudyk was the best thing I've seen on the show as Alpha, truly enjoyable to watch, but was that the actor or the show? And how often could he be back since ABC is going to pick up V?
As for the newbies, I have to do a little research, considering how FOX likes to yank shows that I enjoy. FOX did add six shows to the lineup, four pilots in addition to Glee and The Cleveland Show. I'm really interested in Human Target, FOX's attempt to cash in on graphic novels. As I recall, Mark Valley hasn't been lead in a show since (the truly underrated and unwatched) Keen Eddie. Add Chi McBride and Jackie Earle Haley, I'll give it a shot.
I was going to talk about season finales here too, but I kind of said all I wanted to say already about FOX's. I gave up on 24 a few episodes ago, although I will probably watch the finale to see how it ends, what happens with Alameda, how it sets up for the next season. A show I used to never miss for fear of not being able to catch up, now I have no trouble just jumping in whenever I wish. I guess my Lost:Don't Give a Rat's Rectum theory works for other shows as well.
So Gossip Girl took a trip down Lily's memory lane to when she was hellbent for teenage socialite mayhem just like her dear Serena. And in the same episode, the present-day kiddos went to prom. What a mess. Ugh.
The flashback, the present
day, all of it was effed-up boring and useless. Kind of like Vanessa. And not
even Vanessa with Chuck. Or Nate. Vanessa pining for Humphrey. Richard
Lawson at Gawker summed up the dialogue of the flashback so well: "'Is this the part where you fall in love with me?' a@$#Q%Q$%$Q$#~!!! I
wanted to throw something through the TV, but I would never actually
hurt my lover."
[Now
I wish that the parallel universes of Richard's recaps would cross
paths. Picture it: Lily and NYC Housewife LuAnn, aka Countess Crackerjacks (read Richard's recaps now!), sharing a cigarette after dinner with Serena
and her new role model, Kelly Bensimon. Over drinks, since Victoria has convinced Noel
to run away with her to work in the Goodwill, Lunz convinces Lilz to hit the road because Jane's Addiction is touring this year.
(Remember when Navarro tried talking us into a threesome and then passed out in the parking lot of that Circle K in Omaha!?!) With Rufus being Rufusy as a Rufus can be, moping
because Lily is so very Lily, and the Count taking his little girlfriend to see Lady Gaga next week, why the hell not?]
My biggest problem with 80s shows is that they are usually anachronistic. Pop culturally, they are jumbled, often blending the late 80s into the mid 80s, the early 80s into the mid 80s--basically everything took place in a big ol' pop culture stew in 1985. This flashback was set "sometime in the 80s" which is just damn lazy, right? That's a decade, ten whole years to choose from, Schwartz. And big hair in 1982 was totally different from big hair in 1987, Ms. Savage. Pick a year, make a commitment! Think of the future of the show, past the pilot, past season one! Make continuity a priority! Don't be Rob Thomas! Anyway, I've never understood why things set in the 80s were always such a hot mess. It wasn't that long ago and the decade was captured by the media more than any prior generation. Get on the Internet and find out when that song was released, and for cheestastic pop songs especially, when it was on Billboard. Check out some actual yearbook photos from the chosen year, not the fashion mags, and see what people looked like. Do the damn research and make it right. Ugh.
Back to this Gossip Girl Flashback Fiasco. I missed Andrew McCarthy's thirty-two seconds, so that was strike one for me. Brittany Snow somehow lost the ability to act, making her performance in John Tucker Must Die (damn you, cable) seem shiny-gold-award worthy. So if this show were to pass The CW's stringent pilot policies (Two words: Hidden Palms). . . wait wait wait, that's Kristen Ritter and she's quirky and sometimes annoying but was endearingly goofy on the always-awkward-interview-segment of Chelsea Lately the other night, and most importantly played Gia Goodman on Veronica Mars. So being Lily's big sis/BFF/Blair will maybe work but, oh, holy crap, Schwartz! Is that Ryan Hansen with Val-Kilmer-Real-Genius hair doing the robot and all the charming doofus things that made VM fangirls totally forget Dick Casablancas was a date-rape-advocating-douchenozzle? (Sound like a certain character with a penchant for scotch and ascots, Schwartz? Oh, right, we're supposed to forget that Chuck Bass went from handsy and forceful in the pilot to smarmy but charming by the end of the season.) As conflicted as I was with what they did with Dick on VM (redemption often involves that head-scratching continuity again!), I did like Ryan Hansen. But, hey, hold the payphone, is that No Doubt? Ugh.
Back in the presnt day, behold it is spring! And the kids need a glamorous event-of-the-week. Let's forgo the fundraiser ball or the opera, such obvious choices for teenagers to don designer frocks, right? Let's throw a Prom with a capital P! Alas, Prom was dull. Serena and Dan delightfully did the dance of the dorky while Chuck secretly
chucked it up to crown Blair prom queen, thus fulfilling her prom fairy tale even though he wasn't her king. Because Chuck looooves her. Blair realized she outgrew her scrapbooked fairy tale, though, and must dump King Nate, but not before they shared one last dance. Gag me with a spork. Double ugh.
