WARNING: This game may make you smarter. It may improve your speaking, writing, thinking, grades, job performance. . .

At FreeRice.com, test and build your vocabulary while helping out the UN World Food Program. For every correct answer, twenty grains of rice are donated. It's a great no-fuss clickety-click timekiller for any "word nerd" (TM damn David Cook, and it pains me that I know that). And you don't have to feel bad about killing time when you read about how many people this program has already helped. It seems pretty innocuous at first, but trust me, progressing through vocab levels while filling bowls of rice quickly becomes addictive.

Life has been kind of crappy lately. I am just now getting over some weird flu-virus-blech, although at least I didn't get it until after my birthday. My biggest activities since last weekend included sleep, being bored out of my achy skull, and drinking my weight in Sierra Mist and ginger ale. Here are some flu-haze observations:

- Whole Grain Pop-Tarts are wrongwrongwrong. Pop-Tarts are a comfort food for me. Makes sense, they are basically little pies, flat, rectangular, with Sprinkles! WGPTs are not nearly as tasty as the originals. When looking at the nutritional values, WGPTs and OGPTs have the same amount of fat. WGPTs have ten fewer calories, a skosh less sodium, two grams more of fiber, and a little less sugar. So more fiber will help process the fat and sugar, blah, blah, bllllppptt. It's a Pop-Tart. If that's first choice for brekkie, nutrition is probably not guiding your decision. These foil-wrapped rectangles of sugar, fat, jam, and joy will only be considered "healthy" if they are "Organic Spinach WGPTs with Added Omega-3," and even Popeye would pass. The fewer calories and less sugar in the WGPTs can most likely be attributed to the sad drizzle of frosting in lieu of the traditional sheet of rigid frosting on originals, no Sprinkles! The WGPTs just don't warrant the sacrifice in taste. Plus, they leave behind whole-grain debris, so the taste lingers. Now, Low Fat Strawberry Pop-Tarts are a different story. Those are a little gift from above for anyone who has ever banked Shmeight Watchers points for a sweets fix. Because then we're talking twice the tarts!
 

- Hulu hates me. Never has been my friend. Yes, I know, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog debuted a few days ago, with the next chapter up today. And in my flu-haze, I still remembered to check it out Tuesday because I am that big of a geek. I did not, however, have the patience to wait for the crashed site to come back up, or deal with Hulu once it did. So I downloaded from iTunes, which due to my slow-ass home connection (probably the reason for Hulu-hate, but can work around it with other sites, so what gives?), it took like eighty-seven hours. Okay, maybe it just felt that way. Totally worth it though.  And now I don't feel quite so loony for pondering the idea of a musical Firefly episode back in the day. Le sigh.

- That '70s Show is now on ABC Family and F/X. So it is on approximately twelve hours a day. Yeah, it definitely felt that way. One of them is airing the Officer Kelso season. Nuff said? Yep, channel changed.

- People magazine really is just as annoying when trapped in a flu-haze. Actually, the irritating vapid gave me a tension headache on top of my "fever" headache. I didn't even attempt to read Entertainment Weekly. Even though some consider it pop-culture vapid, I still enjoy it and look forward to my weekly fix, but feared Diablo Cody's column might provoke a seizure.

- Once "Mamma Mia" gets stuck in your head, it stays there. Forever. Just when you think it's gone, you find out it was only lying in wait to attack again. Or is that just the movie promo that plays every ten minutes? Yeah, I'm a movie musical whore, guilty pleasure developed as a kid, so I know I will see it at some point (Lily Kane singing ABBA!), when just depends on if I want to spend money, and how much. And after I see Hellboy and The Dark Knight--must complete the Summer of Superheroes.

- I may not get a flu shot this year. True, this flu seemed to be more of a stomach virus, so not exactly the kind covered by the vaccine. But while I looked for something to watch without the need for concentration, and I actually wasn't in the mood for any of my DVDs, I came up with the genius idea that I would put my flu shot money toward a new DVD collection to watch if and when I get sick. Because this is the second time I've been sick since last fall when I got my first flu shot in eons. Maybe season two of Supernatural or something from the Angel collection (some day, TNT will take it off the air), demons seem apropos to "celebrate" the flu. Well, maybe not genius, but still not the worst idea I've ever had. 

I decided a while back to curtail my celebrity snark. Really, even if you live in Bumfrack, Texas, pop. 81, talking about them, even snarking, only feeds the monster, especially the rabid beast called Famewhore. Like if we all just ignore them, maybe they'll go away. Maybe if the paparazzi realized that nobody cares who Paris Hilton lunches with on any given afternoon before she goes to work shopping for a living. Maybe if Paris Hilton would realize that too and quit showing up where she knows the razzi wait to snap her picture. And then Perez Hilton (referred to in my world as "the site that shall not be named") might just evaporate from the Internet. Sigh.

Anyway, I never dined on the dish of celebrity gossip, invasions of the private lives of folks who understand that fame may be a job duty as public figures, enjoy some perks but don't relish being famous. But there was this mental list of people who begged for attention in the media that always had a snark greenlight. If you show up at the opening of an envelope with an entourage of social vampires, sloppy drunk and flashing your cooter while handing out cards for free stress tests to glib souls, that's called open season.

My point? Michael Lohan just revitalized my list. And he's only the Famewhore Father of a Celebrity! While chatting on the phone with my cattiest of pals about Denise Richards-It's Complicated (you know if she could, she'd legally change her name to her show's moniker), and how Dina Lohan's show is more watchable for ten minute blocks (any more, synapses may misfire), she mentioned reading on "the site that shall not be named" about an announcement that Papa Lohan teased the "press" about all week. Well, he officially told all last night at a "press conference" in Hollywood. Papa Lohan was there to announce two things: a new online comedy series in which he co-stars, Wannabeme.tv (refuse to hyperlink), and the possibility of an illegit 13-year-old half-sis for Lindsay (and competition for Ali!). He said that he hadn't yet told the four kiddos who share his last name about their possible new sib because his visitation rights aren't being respected, and he's "not going to do it over the phone."

Bravo, Papa Lohan! You just won D-bag Dad of the Year for airing your dirty laundry at a PRESS CONFERENCE. Nobody in that family ever watches E! or scans tabloids, they certainly didn't already read about it on THE INTERNET. A preemptive phone call sounds pretty freaking swell right about now, genius.

I would've easily been able to roll my eyes, disgustedly close the browser window, and be on my merry if it hadn't been for this little quote that also caught my eye:

If I wasn't Lindsay's dad or Michael Lohan, this wouldn't be getting any attention," he said.

There's something inherently wrong with that statement. Correction: "If I wasn't Lindsay's dad or Michael Lohan, this wouldn't be getting any attention." Because if he wasn't Lindsay Lohan's father, who she screeched about in a pop song that painted him as Father Knows Anger, then nobody outside of his family and friends, and enemies and cellmates, would know who Michael Lohan is, or care unless he missed a child support payment.
 

And what is the "this" he is referring to? His illegit kid from an extramarital affair? Or his little ol' Web site? Because I'm thinking both. Hey, Mike, you also just won the Nobody Cares Award! What a weekend!
 

Sometimes little things in life really can bring the joy. For example, the teaser to Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo (or it can also be viewed via the Dr. Horrible official fan site). Cannot stop smiling when I watch it. Or when I re-watch it. And it's just a wee teaser.

I thought I posted about this project back in March when I first read about it after Whedon confirmed it on Whedonesque.com. I was so certain I even looked for the post. Nope, evidently I just got really giddy, swooned at the idea, e-mailed the link to a few folks (remember that chat), and then was overwhelmed by a case of geeknesia that made me just forget to post about it. To follow the evolution of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, check out these Whedonesque posts. Neil Patrick Harris vs. Nathan Fillion in the "story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl [Felicia Day] from the laundromat he's too shy to talk to." Oh, and it's a MUSICAL! 

HBO Pays Tribute to George Carlin

Early Monday morning when I saw the headline about George Carlin's death in my news feed, I was saddened and confused. I hadn't read or watched or listened to any news yet, but it wasn't even in every feed, so maybe it could be some stupid Hollywood rumor gone wrong, right? After days of coverage of Tim Russert's sudden death, I figured it would be reported at least in every entertainment oriented feed. Then I clicked on the link and learned it was indeed true. Now there are Carlin tributes everywhere you look, especially all over the net, which is a fitting tribute for someone who railed against censorship on the foundation of freedom of speech, which in turn contributed to one of the best lectures of my old Media Law class (one of my absolute favorites). I don't know, maybe news outlets were weary from over-saturation after the near constant coverage of Russert's death (couldn't you just hear him saying, "Thanks guys, it's overwhelming how much you miss and respect me, but isn't there some news to cover? Massive flood in the Midwest? What are McCain and Obama up to?"), but it doesn't really matter because George Carlin isn't around to comment on it.

As a tribute, HBO is airing all of his comedy specials this week on the various HBOs and NBC will air the first episode of SNL hosted by Carlin on Saturday night. As entertaining as that may be (knowing that Carlin was coked out of his mind like all of the other legendary players not ready for primetime), Carlin's final interview given to Psychology Today on June 13 covering his writing process and beliefs about comedy is a true tribute.

Oh, and on the same day, we learned that actress and comedian Dody Goodman died. Funny has had a tough damn week. Grease is the word and Blanche will be missed . . .
Blanche: When I hear music, I just can't make my feet behave.
Sonny: Thinks she's Tinkerbell.
Blanche: Hush, Sonny.

I know, it's felt like summer for at least a month now in most spots in the country, but today makes it official. It's summer! I lovelovelove summer. I like seasons, I just want summer to last at least six months of the year. Maybe it's because I'm a Cancer. Maybe it's because I was raised in the South. Maybe it's because I'm addicted to flip flops that will most likely ruin my high-arched Barbie feet. I may not like 98-degree temps with a heat index of 103, but I'll take it over cold, lifeless winter any day. I'm done with winter after the holidays. I used to get a little sad on the first day of summer because it meant its ending was also confirmed. But since I am still trying this whole positivity thing lately (some days it works, some days it does not), today I am stoked for the solstice. And to give summer a proper welcome, I enlisted the help of my pal Foo. Yes, she's outfitted in a doggy life jacket and fabulous doggles. And she will make do splashing in her kiddie pool until she can get to the lake. I got this pic in my e-mail a month ago and even put it on my fridge because I still smile every time I look at it. So smile, it's summer!

Happy Father's Day to all the papas! I didn't get a chance to write a list of my favorite TV dads for Father's Day like I did for the moms. Lately poor time management is my greatest enemy. Kind of bummed because I had ideas mulling for it. Eh, doesn't matter, missed the "deadline." But, besides giving my Daddy-o a long distance shout out on this fine day (the USPS better not let me down!), and wishing all other fabulous fathers a great day, I can still offer a few links honoring pop culture pops. And without rambling comment on each! Consider that a bonus giftie, hee!

Who is your favorite pop culture dad?

The 10 Maddest Baddest Daddies in Film

TV Single Dads Hall of Fame

A Father's Day Quiz: Beloved TV Dad

Father's Day: TV Dads We Love

Buddy TV's 15 Hottest TV Dads

TVGuide's TV's Most Memorable Dads

I'm almost finished with Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries (the tale of Sixx's twisted trip to Rock Bottom, weighed down by baggage stuffed with drugs and depression--that he is still around to tell this story and help others by sharing is amazing). Last night, I read an entry where he mentioned filming a promo in 1987 for an MTV contest called the Motley Cruise to Nowhere. Mia actually stumbled onto the promos a few months ago on YouTube (this version has some editing issues). I had never seen it before then and can't believe I forgot about it. It falls into the Star Wars Holiday Special:"So Bad It's Good" category.

Teee-heee-heeee. I laugh, I wince, I laugh, I gape, I laugh, well, you get the picture. Take every '80s cliche, add a stupid script, rock band, girls, and alcohol, mix on a yacht, simmer in the sun, and BAM!, seven minutes of chuckle-worthy cheesetastic video. This has (manager) Doc McGee written all over it, may be goofier then the stuff MTV did with Bon Jovi. It's pretty obvious how messed up Nikki was at this point, not just because he is skinny and gray, but because he's barely featured in it. Mick Mars gets more air time.

How do I pick a favorite part? The cheesey graphics and "special" effects. Mick's "I can't stand whining" followed by Vince Neil pretending to throw his now ex-wife (three wives ago?) overboard. The pirate shtick. The dumbass narration. The wretched "acting." The prize package containing a supply of Canoe cologne. The fact that Nikki wrote about this promo in his diary, and yet Vince is the one pretending to write in his journal, like he ever wrote down anything but chicks' digits. The mirrored sunglasses. The spiral perms. Vince and Tommy Lee ridiculously outfitted in matching skull shorts.Yeah, that may be it. Although, knowing that the two dudes who won the contest showed up in drag, and Tommy thought one was a "smokin' hot" chick, well, that's a contender.

Breaking: NBC's Tim Russert Dies After Suffering Heart Attack

How do we get through a presidential election without Tim Russert on the sidelines? Without the childlike gleeful gleam in his eyes when things become interesting, complicated, or heated? Without him waiting for returns on November 4? He was so excited about this presidential election, the campaigns and the primaries, the debates and the upcoming conventions, it was more evident every time he spoke about it on air. When I heard the news of his death, I actually stammered for a good two minutes, my brain could not compute what I was told. And it's not like I've even met him, it's not like I know him; his family, friends, and colleagues must be devastated. But I've been an NBC News loyalist all of my life (best local news in my hometown and my mom was a fan of Tom Brokaw), and because of his role in election coverage and his career at NBC, especially with Meet the Press, we all know Tim Russert. He will be greatly missed by many who admired and respected him, by many who only "knew" him from his career as a journalist, political analyst, and author. Sunday mornings will not be the same, and a white board will never look the same.

So, I never finished my upfront post. Yeah, it kind of seems irrelevant now. I am stoked about both Fringe and Dollhouse, but fear cancellation-happy Fox. Tired of hearing about 90210:The New Klass, the CW still seems to miss the mark, renewed One Tree Hill. Amazingly, ABC renewed According to Jim. CBS is trying to tempt me with Simon Baker and Rufus Sewell, but not sure I'm buying. And what happened to shunning the upfronts, Zucker? No mention for you, NBC. Um, how's that?

I haven't been really inspired to blog in the past few weeks. I usually don't get really personal here, but a few weeks ago, I found out my grandmother's "maintenance chemo" didn't do its job. Kind of the opposite, her cancer has spread big time, and since there aren't really any other options left, hospice has taken over. My grandfather has had health issues lately too. We've all been dealing with her illness (chemo, doctor's appointments, nursing home) for almost two years, so it's not like a surprise, still doesn't make it easier to accept. The strange thing is that I've since decided to actively try to be more optimistic about my life, which is not the reaction I expected. It's not easy for me, a lifelong pessimist, but I'm tired of wasting energy on negativity. Hopefully that will last longer than a week.

Anyway, I decided to do a little post about my entertainment lasts.

Last movie seen in a theater: Iron Man, my last Matinee Escape (that post has yet to be written). Robert Downey Jr. is the man. May my teenage crush on him never wane. And who knew Gwyneth Paltrow could be so animated and likeable? It's the first time I've enjoyed watching her in anything in a very long time. Maybe Sliding Doors?

Last movie seen on dvd: There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day Lewis, holy hell. And that scene with the fire? Sigh, I wish I had seen that on a big screen. It must have been an amazing project to work on. I also saw Dan in Real Life, suprisingly charming. Steve Carrell in funny, warm, depressed yet huggable mode. I like him best in smaller films, but hope he rocks Get Smart even though I'm starting to suffer Apatow burnout. And The Savages, which I related to a lot, found quite funny while still very honest and poignant without being depressing, but nursing home humor has a very select audience so it might not be quite as humorous to others. Finally saw Lars and the Real Girl. Heaven help me, my adoration of Ryan Gosling has no bounds.

Last movie watched on the cable: Serenity, but does it really count on the umpteenth viewing? Knocked Up. I found it hilarious in the theater, but less amusing on second watch. Didn't really help with my dislike of Jonah "JFH" Hill either. Just like FSM, I chuckled at only one of his lines. Did I ever post my little ghetto-photoshop of horrors where I put his face on the front of a talking urinal cake as an example of Superbad overpromotion? (long story) I'm still grumbling about 21 Jump Street: The Movie. For the love of Tom Hanson, please just don't. It's so very wrong.

Last movie watched on the pay-per-view: Juno. Liked it more the second time I saw it. Still have the impulse to bitchslap someone during the first fifteen minutes though. And I don't mean Ellen Page, although I didn't enjoy her as much on second viewing. I appreciated the supporting cast a lot more which I would say is strange, but the B-players are so damn strong. I'll follow JK Simmons anywhere. He and Allison Janney are so perfectly cast.

Last TV show watched:
Unscripted? Top Chef and I call bullshenanigans on it this week! Antonia packing her knives definitely feels like producer interference. You know, they don't want what happened on Project Runway, all that friendly competition in the finale, people respecting each other and being civil, if not supportive, no screaming or throwing insults (seen the recent "villain" promos for season four? Obvious much?). Must have someone play The Asshole! And Lisa shall rightfully claim that title. It should've been Dale, who admitted he was one but at least (usually) backed it up with skills in the kitchen. Lisa has been in the bottom so often, I can't believe she's still there. I should've known when Richard said early in the episode that he was surprised Lisa was in Puerto Rico. They love to try to give reality television a little foreshadowing with editing. At least Antonia got some good exposure for her new restaurant, and I hope she gets to have a little finale fun like Brian did last season. Oh, Top Chef, we've had a good thing so far, don't make me dump you.
 
As for a new episode of a scripted show, Greek. Have you tried it? Because it's much better than I expected. And I was a GDI at a college with an infamous greek system drenched in beer, old old old money, Jack Daniels, and archaic Southern traditions, in that order. Anyway, I caught a marathon after the first season and was charmed by it. I've seen ten minutes of a Wildfire, so my expectations were quite low. Sure, it's a little light, but fun and often funny, there are some excellent lines and good characters. It's just no fuss, enjoyable telly. Jed Seidel, a producer/writer during season one of Veronica Mars, is on staff now. And currently Max Greenfield, VM's Deputy Leo D'Amato, is guesting, as is Alan "Cameron Frye" Ruck this season, although my favorite was when Thomas Calabro, Melrose Place's Dr. Michael Mancini, showed up as Rebecca's lecherous senator father. Exxxxcellent.

Last TV finale watched: Dur, Lost. I still need to re-watch it though. If not their best season, definitely my favorite, I think. I am still too bitter about previous seasons. If I don't think about season two, then I don't start overthinking the writing again. I enjoy it most when I just let it be.

Last magazine read: Entertianment Weekly. Ooh, and I borrowed the latest copy Geek. Toy Fair! Did you know you can buy a replica Flux Capacitor? For $275. If I could go back to 1985's gas prices, though, it would be worth it. 

Last book read: How about currently reading? Heroin Diaries, Nikki Sixx's book chronicling the height of his heroin addiction while in Motley Crue. Mia loaned me her autographed copy (said since we've been friends since first grade she trusts me with it, yikes!) because she figured it would be good distraction reading. So far it's a twisted tale told by a junkie, full of sound and fury, and mania and depression, signifying, um, well, I haven't gotten to that part yet. Diary entries have additional comments from Nikki, his friends, and family members that offer current points of view and memories of that time. Those are pretty illuminating. I also like reading about the origins of songs on the Girls album. Their music was a huge part of the soundtrack to my early adolescence. And a book with a soundtrack? Nikki's such the businessman now, he's the Gene Simmons of Motley. The HD soundtrack is pretty solid if you dig that brand of hard rock.

Last song that randomly played on WMP: "Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage. Which reminds me that Shirley Manson has been cast in the next season of The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Okay, so that's the only reason I mentioned what was playing. But that, my friends, is Bad. Ass. I mean, she's badass, and the show is badass, so unless her acting sucks ass, it could be a winning combo. 

Last time I made fun of Bret Michaels: It's actually been a few days. Which may be a new record for me. His new solo cd hit stores Tuesday which also happened to be my friend Stacy's birthday. So he just had to send her an e-mail, using my addy for some weird reason (I'm bored with e-cards), inviting her to listen to his meditative, soul searching, boner inducing lyrics over on VH1's site. Actually, if you skeedaddle over there, there's a video for "Go That Far," the song that is sampled for the Rock of Love theme. Yeah, that gem really needed to be stretched to three minutes. Oh, and he's "writing" a book. The true story of a boy who had nothin' but a dream and diabetus who grew into a man having nothin' but a good time while marching into middle age still wearing tons of makeup and bedazzled bandannas over his Barbie hair extensions.